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24th December 2019

My definition of love and romance was so theoritical, dramatic, like in a movie and tales.

(a hopeless romantic)


I read some books about love, dating, and relationship. It became my standard of how relationships should go.

(there are no formula in relationships)


I built a high fence and walls to protect my heart... I didn't want to be an "easy" girl.
"don't want to easily fall in love". My heart just belong to one person, my future husband.

(still cannot tolerate, I do want my future husband knows that he is special)



well.. I never dated anyone before (well I considered some guys, but never been in a relationship)..
I made a promise to myself that I would consider celibate if I could not find the "prince" of my dream. I need a very long time to consider before deciding to have "dating-relationship"

(I met him, impressed and attracted with his character. We were praying for each other,  In love, couldn't hold the butterflies in my stomachs everytime I got call from him. 4 months after....  we're officially dating) 




(he proposed to me  on my 27th birthday - 10 months after we were dating)



A guy that I believe we could walk in sync in this life, a life partner, a lover, 
in all of his and my imperfections.... by God's Grace.. 
I choose him! 

We were passing by each other many times before at church.
We were in the same group at camp when we were little. 
hahaha...all these times... God has planned.. 
and at His right time.. 

You are the guy I was waiting for!


It’s been a year together! 

Setahun rasanya seperti bertahun-tahun. 

nyaman.
meski terus harus belajar saling mengerti   
karena sayang. 
supaya kita terus nyaman. 
bahagia selalu


To inFeNatey and beyond! I LOVE YOU!

Years years ago... we were in the same group! 

 24th December, 2018

Our first Valentine’s dinner

I’ll hold u forever! 

My fiance! 

ADULTING

wohoo..

a little late post. ^^

I'm 25!

Thank God, He has been so so GOOD to me. 

HE IS GOOD

HE IS LOVE

I would like to embrace being 25 as what-so-called "Adulting". 

in January 2018, I will begin my master study in Singapore. 

Taking Master Science in Management Course. 

there are some reasons that lead me to this decision. 

MAJOR decision.

usually, when I tell others about this plan, or just talk to myself , contemplating, 

I would've said all the fundamentals that made me choose business, blah blah, plan on doing this that these those... 

well, today someone just told me

and it reminds me. 

maybe.. 

we don't have to plan it all

don't have to know it all

or do it all (unimaginably worries over "future")

just have faith, and trust Him through it all.

be HAPPY :) 

Trust and Obey God

Grievance vs Guilt

28th of August, 2017 

This was the day of my Mother's birthday 

and

the day I experienced the loss of My Grandmother

My grandmother, Oma , the way I call her. 

She was a warm hearted person. She rarely got angry, and often shared her smiles. 

She lived alone in her house. 

I admit that there were times when she was really annoying, and I couldn't stand. 

But there were also good times. 

Moreover, there were times when I saw loneliness, and a pure soul through her eyes. 

It was difficult to trace what was in her mind. 

After her departure to Heaven, 

The loss and somehow emptiness felt real to me. 

Grievance overflowed on the first few days after she breathed her final breath. 

but then.. 

It bothered me a lot, about what family and love is all about. 

Oma was kind of glue that sticks the family together. 

Not because Oma solely asked the whole family to come together, 

but more about she was the only reason for the other family member to connect. 

I often think, If I can turn back time to when she needed my help, or when she needed someone to listen to her. Will I change? or will family around her change the way they taken care of her? 

Now, 

the matter of "the remaining living families" that needs the love. 

I have this urgency inside me that I want to keep the intimacy in the family alive. 

It surely won't be easy to be able to love one another wholeheartedly, without even thinking of one-selves (in term of bigger family members).  

But let's have this in the prayer and keep in faith. That God will provide and take care the family. 

I believe this was also what Oma always want to pursue. 

Quarter life crisis. entitled as a dentist. now what?

There's still a lot of things that I cannot understand and accept.
.
.
.

hey ho!
I'm already 24 now. Last blog post was like a year ago haha!
(I wonder how I was more talkative in the blog , pas SMP-SMA)

this year I experience quite a turbulence. (nganggur berbulan-bulan)
but Thank God I finally, officially,  become a dentist (welcome to the unemployment! ha!)

Being 24 now, and still doing nothing significant in my life, bothers me a lot. 

By significance I mean,  is having a real dream, stay focused, know my goals, having a job (real job) , and a life that others see as "not pathetic".

  

 with my fellow graduates 

If you follow my blogpost 6 years ago.

You might know that being a dentist is nowhere to be found in my "Book of Dream List by Little Felinda" ha!.

I'm a typical asian student whose parents told em to become a doctor or lawyer. 

memang sih gak salah..

meskipun jaman uda maju, but people still think a doctor or a lawyer is a "exceptional" job. 

        " Wahhh hebat ya! dokter" 

        " Wih pinter pinter semua ini dokter " 

dan parahnya sih .. dikira pasti punya banyak duit hahaha

        " wah enak ya, sekarang nambal gigi aja berapa udahan " 

 FYI, modal untuk jadi dokter gigi juga mahal sih. mulai dari sekolah, alat,  bahan KG, waktu, bayar pasien. belum kalo ada plan buka praktekan sendiri. 

dan belum lagi saingan sejawat yang berkejibun! hahaha 

.

.

.

I don't know what I want to do. 

All I know is I want to have enough money to provide myself a good life. (sandang, pangan terpenuhi ?!?) 

enough money and time to make my parents happy and could help others with the skill I have. 

(Kalo gini, semua ya mau gitu fe! who doesn't?? LOL) 

Is this what people called as quarter life crisis??

yep. I think as I reach this age. I become materialistic. All i concern is money money money.
I don't know what I'm good at. (kalaupun tau, itupun ga bisa dijadikan pekerjaan, or my skill was just average, i have no big talents in that field)


saya akui , in my "finding life path" journey. I was being lazy.
I rarely ask God about it. Even if I ask, I only do the "genie trick" lol.
cuman complain but not even trying to ask wholeheartedly.
cepet- cepet stress sendiri. (huhuhu... gak banget sih fe..) 


so yes, fefe sedang mencari - mencari - menemukan....

hopefully menemukannya tidak lama.
dan sambil menemukan saya punya pekerjaan dan belajar.

oyeash.. about love, dating, marriage... Lemme write about that in another blog post :) hihi.
( lagi doyan baca poem, poetry

nice studio pic with my sis :) 

23!

Hoooyeahhh I'm 23!! 

Thank you Lord for everything!

This year, I celebrated my birthday on Sunday. Many surprises given by pregbund youth choir and pregbund youth community! 

Thank you very very much! 

And thank you my bestie Jovita.. 

She was behind all the precious gift ans surprises hihi. Lavv yaa! 

One song during Sunday Service has lyrics like this : 

"Tlah kulihat.. KebaikanMu.. Yang tak pernah habis di hidupku..

Ku berjuang.. Sampai akhirnya, Kau dapati aku tetap setia " 

Yesss!! My hope is secured in Lord Jesus. Kebaikan Tuhan gak habis2.. 

let me live day by day, embracing Your Love and loving God for who God is! Thank you for choosing me God. 

In age 23, I might stumble, but I believe in Your protection :) 

Let's do this! To the exciting year! 

And not forget to mention my scurvy ladies besties.. Who surprises me by giving me TOP and beautiful cake hihi 

Thank u girls!  Too bad we didn't have chance to greet haha. 

Salah jammm wkkk.

Thnk you very2 much choir for the wishes .. For the craft and cute cake' 

Funny thing is.. 90% of them wishing me to meet my soulmate soon hahaha.. 

Amin2.. Trust God's timing! 

girl not yet a woman

wooot!

I miss writing on this blog.

Last post was like 3 years ago ?!! wow. 

Many things have changed since then.

Well let's sum it up 

I have finished my skripsi (undergraduate thesis).

Graduated as S.KG (Sarjana Kedokteran Gigi) .. but not a dentist yet. (hopefully this year hihi)

have this passion in floral design. 

with 3 my closest friends, we created a little  "online / instagram" business, called Chlorist Bouquet.

check out our instagram account here : http://instagram.com/chloristbouquet

I started as mentee bible study mentoring at church.

met a very nice, humble mentor. I hope this mentoring program will increase my "hunger" for Truth. 

As I am writing this, I remembered how I keep being not satisfied with the state that I am today. I keep worrying what future holds for me. What I am going to do in the future... How can I live by myself without my parents support.. Can I form a family... 

feel cautious, worry, insecure..  while  eventually, gradually, will be entering new phase of my life.

but 

I forgot one thing.

to be thankful.

the fact that I have accomplished many things in the past, is none other than God's favor and Grace. 

the fact that He continuously reminding me in the heart, that He should be the center of it all, flatters me.

Maybe I haven't done much for the sake of my love for Him.

Deep inside I pray for His guidance and keep asking to remind me for His unconditional love.

So yes.. who has no struggles? 

everyone has.

But who finish it with victory?

the one who are not avoiding it, but rather face it, working hard, tackle it with the strength of the Lord. 

I don't know what the future holds... 

I wrote this so you (yes fefe you, yourself)

could remember.. everytime you read this blog (maybe couple years later after now..)

you are still that passionate girl! 

You will be that passionate woman!

You can do this!

Live righteously! BE HAPPY! 

God is here with you until now, why wouldn't he taking care of you until you met Him in eternity with TRUE victory.. He is faithful.

:) 

my first odontectomy

Oral Medicine case report competition at RSGM

Penyuluhan kesehatan gigi di Blitar (waktu PKL blitar)

sama bu camat, dan staf Puskesmas Menur (waktu PKL di Surabaya)

hihihi

ada lirik lagu nya Abdul n The coffee theory bilang " Bahagia itu Sederhana", apa iya?

holiday trip ^^

last august I went to..... (wait for it)................. (giggle)....................... (epic fail dancing)................

europe !!!!


I went too west of europe, to be more specific ... to switzerland, italy, monaco, monte carlo, france, and netherlands. woot woot :)

First stop : Zurich.
I met my cousin Sandra in Zurich.. as you read my previous post about, me giving a calendar to my cousin wedding. It's her! cuz Sandra. There, I met her and her family. what more exciting was.. meeting my 9 month nephew Luo!

LUO IS VERY LUCUUUUUUUUUU... aaaaaaa....

mom, sis, me, cuz sandra and her husband Beat.. siapa di stroller ? LUO!














Di swiss, ada tourist site yang paling wajib mampir..
the gorgeous mount titlis.
(thumbs up for my gak banget cool geeky style di gunung.. keke)

after swiss, Italy.
visited city : Milano, Venice, Pisa, Roma
The weather was aarrrghhhhhh HOT!!!
Karena eropa lagi summer.

(demi foto ini nahan panas berapa derajat coba... ckck)

Venice Gondola
tapi mood nya ancur banget pas ini...selain panas luar biasa... ini mas2 guetta itali pendayung gondola,
 gak mau nyanyi...

(stop complaining fe ... -o-)









*untuk mempersingkat cerita*

Itali panas tapi banyak sightseeing juga... architecture etc

LOL


Next, France... ooh.
J'aime France beaucoup!
First city to visit while in France... is Chamonix!
I love Chamonix, Mont Blanc. It was a peaceful place, has stunning view of gorg Mt. Blanc.. great scenery.
I wish I could stay there longer  (cuman semalem disini :( )

at a candy store at night.
After Chamonix... PARIS!

La Tour Eiffel at night :)

view from the 2nd level of eiffel

musse du lourve

arc the triomphe